Who Serves the Servers?

Altar work is work and altar servers should be unionised.

While it is some years since I've donned the alb, I write as one who spent over a decade as both a server and member of the Guild of St. Stephen. The Guild in its current form is more of a benevolent laissez faire staff association than anything else but altar servers need to have an organisation of their own that looks after their interests.

There is precedent for organised labour representing those who work in the Church. The general union Unite has its 'Faith Workers' Branch' though I understand it is primarily oriented around paid positions rather than volunteer roles (& draws its members from our ecumenical kin in the Church of England).

If you wish for an example which is in full communion with Rome then may I draw your attention to the Associazione Dipendenti Laici Vaticani (ADLV) [Association of Vatican Lay Workers]. Again focusing on salaried staff (this time those that fulfil functions in Vatican City) but I certainly think there is scope for an Altar Servers branch (or 'local' if you're on the opposite side of the pond to the author). It is worth noting that the ADLV have attained their first female General Secretary a feat not matched by the author's own union GMB (formerly known as the General Municipal Boilermakers) despite being a 50:50 gender split, being founded over 125 years ago, and having had Eleanor Marx as one of its prime early activists...

While there may not be disputes over money for altar servers there are certainly issues over terms & conditions. Altar Servers arrive early, stay late, often have other roles (reader, eucharistic minister, etc.), and they do this while being overwhelmingly young.

Then there's health & safety. In the interests of full disclosure your correspondent may have been involved in what could be described as inadvertent arson involving the Easter Vigil, a thurible, replacement charcoal, and an underestimation for the heat conductivity of metal. I can say without a shadow of a doubt I left my mark at my parish church (and the charred carpet in the sacristy is a talking point). Altar Serving involves literally handing matches and heavy objects to children...

Speaking of children...

Just because the (righteous) baleful gaze of scrutiny has landed upon our ecumenical fellows in the Church of England we should not ignore our shameful history of child abuse.

While an Altar Servers Union would not have been a silver bullet (& under Catholic Social Teaching of self defence I would have no qualms if victims had used actual munitions to stop their attackers) imagine an organisation with the welfare of altar servers at its core built on the principles of mutual support. An organisation which draws its strength from its own membership.

There are also a litany of other lesser transgressions which altar servers endure from the more feckless priest. I have personally witnessed priests berate literal children for perceived errors and the cleric would then insult the solemnity of the altar by flicking water in their faces during eucharistic ablutions. Being of the assertive sort, I upbraided the cleric in question within the sacristy for all the good it did. With hindsight a withdrawal of labour and a picket may have had a more significant effect.

Did you think you'd get through an article advocating the unionisation of altar servers and not have it consider liturgical industrial action? While such action has a strict legal connotation in Great Britain (& much of the rest of the world) the principle of industrial action (including strikes) may still be applied to volunteering.

Altar Servers could work to rule (serving only those aspects of the mass crucial for the eucharist for example) or even go as far as withdrawing their labour entirely. It's a pleasant diversion to muse on the form an altar server picket line may take. A brazier burns brightly outside the lych gate (possibly with incense). A throng of servers stand in line with placards saying "NO AD ORIENTEM IN NEGOTIATIONS" and "1 Timothy 5:18" while the scene is soundtracked by the chant "2, 4, 6, 8, you need us to transubstantiate."

Then there is the matter of affiliations. I personally would encourage the nascent Altar Servers Union to affiliate to their respective confederations (TUC &/or GFTU this side of the Atlantic for instance. AFL-CIO on the other).

Some may raise the concern that if altar servers start exercising their industrial rights what of readers, eucharistic ministers, counters, those on the cleaning rota, flower arrangers, and those that work tirelessly on providing refreshments (alternatively called 'the women who just make the tea' by one cleric at my childhood parish church: an incident which is still cited by my family as grounds for defrocking). My reply? I can but hope.

Of course, having a democratic organisation within the Catholic Church may cause some to take pause. However, it’s worth bearing in mind that our Pontiff is elected via democratic mandate (albeit with a somewhat select electorate). Alas my plans for an electoral college drawn from a variety of segments of Catholic social and liturgical life will have to wait for another day (altar servers get 15% is all I’ll say). The fact is we have already embraced in part the democratic process for that most exalted of positions - perhaps we see such things not just in St Peter’s Basilica but also in our respective parish churches.

At its heart I believe the following should be core demands for Altar Servers specifically:

- Altar Servers should have a contract with their parish specifying duties and expectations

- Altar Servers reps should be elected from amongst their number by their number

- Altar Servers should have annual conferences to decide policy positions and share best

practice

- Priests, Deacons, et al should have a code of conduct in relation to Altar Servers.

Altar servers disdain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their service to both Mass and the faithful is not to be exploited and are prepared to overthrow the existing conditions. Let the church authorities tremble at this server led revolution.

Servers unite. You have nothing to lose but your thurible chains.